


Hate Me, Do It and Do It Again (Meta)

by RocknRoll1968



Category: Nirvana (Band)
Genre: Fannish Nonfiction, Meta, Nirvana as a feminist band, Other, content warning: non-con discussed, feminist analysis, photo analysis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 09:38:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21159536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RocknRoll1968/pseuds/RocknRoll1968
Summary: A particular Nirvana photo set has been bugging me, and I finally put my finger on what it is that feels off about it. This is fannish nonfiction, not a fanfic.Topics: Consent, Feminism, Male Femininity, Bullying & Harassment, The Devaluation of Women Under Patriarchy, Activism





	Hate Me, Do It and Do It Again (Meta)

This photo set has always bothered me, because of how shocked, angry, and distrustful Kurt looks in these pictures. Always made me think, “What the hell did the photographer do to make him look at the camera that way?!” I sat and thought about it and this is what I came up with.

In the one above, Kurt looks unpleasantly surprised by what’s happening, so I’m guessing the photographer told Krist and Dave how to pose with Kurt, rather than them deciding on that by themselves. He really trusted his bandmates and I doubt he would have reacted that way to their spontaneous horsing around. To the contrary, I think he would have reacted with delight, [like this.](https://images2.imgbox.com/84/94/nrouuuEp_o.jpg)

Pretty sure this shot came immediately after the one above, since Kurt is now like, “What the actual fuck!? Why??” Krist and Dave don’t seem to have noticed Kurt is upset, which makes sense, since they can’t see his face.

And here it looks like Krist has cottoned on to what was upsetting Kurt, and agrees with him. He looks very closed off and displeased compared with his usual relaxed and happy attitude. Can’t tell if it’s dawning on Dave or not, here. I would need another shot see if his expression changed more. I imagine they might have talked about it later, anyway.

So what is it that made Kurt look at the camera the way we see in this third shot? He looks hurt and upset and like the person he’s looking at has just fucked up pretty bad and can’t be trusted. I haven’t seen that expression on him in any other picture I can think of.

We can see in the first shot that Dave and Krist are holding Kurt’s wrists and pulling his arms out taut–-restraining him, basically. It’s really doubtful they would ever have thought to do that themselves; it’s pretty certain the photographer told them to do it, especially given Kurt’s negative reaction.

What does the top image remind you of? It looks to me like an image taken from the point of view of a rapist participating in a gang rape. The magazine this series of shots was taken for, Details, was a men’s fashion magazine, low-key aimed at a gay male audience (most straight men don’t read fashion mags…), and given that rape is a popular male hobby (over 99% of rapes are committed by men - FBI statistics), it’s not surprising the photographer would assume that the mostly male audience for the magazine would be interested in seeing an image of Kurt like that, especially since he was a handsome, famous, and _feminine_ man.

Would Kurt have been treated the same way if he had chosen a more masculine outfit that day? Possibly. But the fact that he chose to present himself in a feminine way almost certainly affected the photographer’s decision to treat him like a living sex toy.

The boys were supposed to be showing off a particular designer’s clothing for these images, and were given a whole bunch of fun clothes to try on. Kurt naturally gravitated to a very fabulous, glittery glam rock sweater (possibly originally intended as women’s clothing, but definitely feminine in appearance, regardless), and had the stylist give him a typical ‘90s women’s look in terms of hair style and makeup. He also had his nails done, as we can see in other shots from the series, like this one:

Kurt wasn’t able to safely express his femininity when he was young–he was bullied and beat up in high school for being gay, which was how he thought of himself at the time (he eventually described himself as bisexual in 1993). Feminine gay and bisexual men are frequent targets of bullying and abuse in and out of high school. It’s not an easy way to be.

Kurt felt safe the day of this photoshoot to express himself in a feminine way, and he was punished for it. Women are commonly punished for conforming to femininity expectations through catcalling and sexual harassment and assault, despite being expected to look feminine at all times (and being treated like freaks if they don’t). In patriarchy, you can’t win. Kurt was aware of how women are treated in our society, and he immediately recognised that he was being objectified and sexually harassed by the photographer exactly the way women commonly are, simply because he chose to dress in a way typically associated with women. It’s no wonder he was very upset.

Many men would have laughed the incident off or even been flattered by it (since many men consider rape to be an acceptable secret hobby), but Kurt was not that kind of person. He was very offended and horrified by the idea of anyone–-himself included–-being treated as a sex toy instead of a human being. A quote from the official Nirvana bio by Azerrad (1993), and one left by a fan on YouTube:

> "…the band went out to lunch at a swanky Beverly Hills eatery with Rip magazine editor Lonn Friend.
> 
> Before lunch, Kurt, Chris, and Dave visited Friend’s office. "I looked up on his wall and I noticed that Lonn has a fetish," says Kurt. "A rock and roll butt fetish. He has to have all these pictures taken with him and up-and-coming bands where either he's naked or the bands have to drop their pants. He's pinching their butts. There are all these pictures of him with naked rock stars that have been in this magazine. He's in the bathtub naked and they're standing around him and it started to scare me."
> 
> "It was a disgusting scene because we were basically pimping our personalities to this person to see if he liked us before he decided to promote us," Kurt continues. "It was the most sickening thing I ever experienced.""

In reference to the above fan story, these weren't just empty words on Kurt's part. He did actually take action in similar situations, having a man thrown out of the gig when he saw him sexually assaulting a woman near the barrier, and deliberately playing a terrible show (featuring lots of feedback) to punish the mostly male crowd at a different gig for throwing trash and shouting misogynist slurs at Calamity Jane, the all-female opening band Nirvana had selected for the gig in question.

I feel my interpretation of these images is also backed up by this autographed copy of the magazine. Krist has added a speech bubble coming out of his mouth saying, "SHITE". He was and is a very opinionated man and I don’t think he would hesitate to give his opinion on a magazine that treated his best friend with such disrespect. "SHITE" is likely what he thought of Details magazine after that incident.

This was just a brief moment in time, but it illuminates Kurt’s mindset really well by way of his extremely expressive face, so I thought it was worth posting about. You can really see his feelings on this issue in these photographs (Krist’s as well), and it was this level of caring and passion that has made him so well loved by so many, so long after his brief life ended.

~

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback welcome. :-)
> 
> Since feminism often seems to bring out the worst in certain people, I will mention that only mature, respectful comments will be published. I want the comment section to be a safe place for open discussion. There is no need to agree with what I've said here, but if you disagree, you must do so in a grown-up manner. Trolling, bullying, personal attacks, misogyny, and the like will not be tolerated and will be reported to Ao3 if needed.
> 
> If you made it all the way to the end of this post, thanks for reading! I hope you found it interesting.


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